We just skyped with the 2-year-old niece of one of my roommates and, oh my, her cuteness literally brought tears to my eyes. She is being raised in a solid Catholic household and her innocent faith reminded me why Jesus told us to be like children. She prayed the rosary with us (which involved repeatedly kissing the crucifix) and told us the story of Moses.
During this conversation a great truth sunk in: children are the most wonderful creatures on earth. As frustrating as they can be at times, I feel blessed to spend every day with them. No matter how bad my day is, having a 3-year-old run into my arms and yell my name can erase the deepest frown from my face. Even the worst trouble makers know how to melt my heart with a hug and ‘I love you.’
It breaks my heart to hear about the broken homes some of my students have to go back to every night. I just want to scoop all my children into my arms and shower them with the love they deserve.
I’m all about not using this as a diary, but I think that it’s important for me to reveal some of myself once in a while. Being around children all the time has made me incredibly sad that I may never have any of my own. Perhaps it’s my biological clock ticking, or just the natural longing to have a family, but God is making me painfully aware of what He is asking me to give up. At the same time He is forming me as a spiritual mother, through interactions with my students, housemates, and friends.
Here’s a little poem I wrote a while ago:
A little hand slips into mine;
a head drops to my shoulder.
Little eyes close
as little arms wrap around me.
Innocently trusting I will be here
when he wakes up.
He has known me for a mere three days
yet gives me all his love and trust.