I almost forgot to share my news! I got a call from the TOR Sisters vocation director last Monday. The formation board approved me to move onto the next stage! Next I’ll be completing some personality and psychological tests tomorrow. After that I have to travel out to Ohio again in 2 weeks to have a psychological exam (so they know I’m not crazy). I’ve been weirdly calm about all of this but that’s because this is what I’m supposed to be doing. By now, I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life other than being a TOR Sister.
Yet there is still a sense of fear underlying it all. Sometimes the reality of what I’m doing hits me and I wonder if I can really do it. But then I remember that Christ gives us the grace to do whatever He needs to us to. For that reason, this quote from the Pope has been a constant in my life:
“Are we not perhaps all afraid in some way? If we let Christ enter fully into our lives, if we open ourselves totally to him, are we not afraid that He might take something away from us? Are we not perhaps afraid to give up something significant, something unique, something that makes life so beautiful? Do we not then risk ending up diminished and deprived of our freedom? And once again the Pope said: No! If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide. Only in this friendship is the great potential of human existence truly revealed. Only in this friendship do we experience beauty and liberation. And so, today, with great strength and great conviction, on the basis of long personal experience of life, I say to you, dear young people: Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life. Amen.” ~ Pope Benedict XVI
That about says it all. This is what I’m doing – Giving up everything for the sake of the kingdom, in the pursuit of a more fulfilling life than the world could ever offer. I mean he’s the Pope, so I can’t really think of anything that tops that.