For all of my readers asking this question, you should know that I am too. For the longest time I was so sure that God was calling me to foreign missions, particularly in Africa. But as I continue to surrender my dreams to His will, something strange is happening: he is calling me in completely unexpected ways. When I went on the discernment retreat with the TOR Sisters in Ohio, the vocation director said that it is important to discover the deepest desires of our heart. There are many things we want in life, but some of these are superficial and not really what God needs us to focus on. It reminds me of this quote: “There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart…pursue those.”
This definitely applies to me because I have many random passions and get easily distracted by good things. So as I walk down this path of discernment, I’ve been asking myself what the deepest desires of my heart are. What I came up with is: serve the poor – both spiritually and materially, reveal the truth of God’s love, make the redeeming love of Christ known and build up the Church.
At the same time God has been revealing to me the desperate need of the American people. More than anything, we are spiritually poor and the spiritual state of our youth especially is disheartening. I believe that he has important work for me to do here.
When I went to Tanzania, that is absolutely where I needed to be. I learned many important things during my time there and it was huge leap of faith which helped solidify my relationship with God. God took me to the other side of the world to confirm my vocation as a Sister, teach me the power of prayer and teach me to trust him in everything I do.
In the end, complete obedience is the only way to true freedom. By completely abandoning myself to God’s will, I will allow him to fulfill all of my desires and beyond. I may still end up in Africa one day, but the only way to find out is to be obedient and go to Ohio…